Doggett's Mishap
by doggettandscully
Summary: Doggett has a slight mishap involving his mobile phone.....


Doggett glided into his swivel chair and neatly arranged his breakfast out on the  
desk. He placed his coffee beside his keyboard, his bacon roll beside his pencil sharpner  
and his iced doughnuts on the huge mound of paperwork that had built up over the best few days.  
"Good morning" Scully's overjoyed voice said, Doggett glanced up to see her dressed up to  
the nines "Like my outfit?" she asked  
"Oh yeh" Doggett said with a fake smile, he didn't have the heart to tell her she had a label  
still stuck on it "Great"  
"I bought it last night" she said doing a twirl,  
"Nice" Willmore suddenly said, in a sudden mass panic Scully stopped and span around. She felt  
foolish, had Willmore seen her twirling around the office? Did he think she was stupid? "It's  
wonderful"  
"Really?" Scully asked turning red with embarrassment, her flirting mode came into action and  
she found herself by the door "How are you?"  
"Good,good" he replied "Just popped in to let you know you guys better be careful, Skinmans  
on the war path"  
Suddenly a huge laugh erupted from the other side of the office, Willmore and Scully  
watched in confusion as Doggett laughed hysterically  
"What?" Scully asked, was he laughing at her outfit?  
"Skinman" Doggett yelled "You called him Skinman"  
"WHO?" Skinner's loud, angry voice bellowed. Doggett froze in his chair and began to cack and  
shake "WERE YOU REFERRING TO ME AGENT DOGGETT?"  
"Yeh" Doggett said "I never called you it" he blurted out, realising he had left Willmore  
in the lurch  
"PERHAPS AGENT'S WILLMORE AND SCULLY CAN SHED SOME LIGHT" he yelled. Willmore stood like a   
garden gnome, trembly and wimpish.   
"I was talking about Agent Chow sir" Willmore said, Scully admired his cool style and witty  
thinking "He called you Skinman"  
"He did?" Skinner asked in a calmer manner  
"Yes" Doggett said "Willmore was just--"  
"SHUT UP AGENT DOGGETT" Skinner shouted, Doggett suddenly stopped talking and looked down at  
the floor with sorrow  
"Thank you for informing me of this crude incident" Skinner said, he turned to face Doggett "Why  
did you see fit to laugh at the fact I was rudely insulted by a fellow co-worker?"  
"Erm...er" Doggett stuttered  
"Well Agent Doggett? I haven't got all day like you, spit it out" he ordered  
"Sorry"  
"Is that the best you can do Agent Doggett?" Skinner asked, Doggett was annoyed at the  
expression portrayed on his face. He looked confused and angry at the same time, the office  
lights were reflecting on his glasses and gleaming from his bald head "You've just landed  
yourself a meeting, my office 5pm"   
"Er.." Doggett grew depressed  
"I'll see YOU later Agent Doggett" he said leaving the room with a smile for Willmore and Scully  
"Great" Doggett sighed with sadness and hostility  
"Well you do tend to shout off" Willmore recognised "You should learn to quieten your voice,  
that way Skinner won't hear"  
Scully perceived that Willmore had a wonderful way with advice. He always knew what to say  
in any given situation, he was almost certainly her knight in shining armor.  
"Anyway you've got Chow in trouble now" Doggett bitched in an attempt to make Willmore look  
stupid  
"Chow's on vacation for three weeks, when he gets back Skinman would have forgotten all about  
the incident" he bitched back, making Doggett look more tedious. Again Scully caught onto  
Willmore's quick thinking, his righteousness, his wonderful looks and his superior smile "Well  
guys I better toodle on back to my office. I am working with Agent Sherbertdab" he said  
with raised eyebrows, a frown and a grin  
"Oh" Scully said following him out into the corridor "Look I was wondering, would you perhaps  
like to see William?"  
"Oh cool" Willmore roared "That would be exceptional"  
"When?" she cacked  
"Tonight?"  
"Yes tonight" she hooted with delight "About 6:00pm? He goes to bed at 6:30pm" she explained.  
Willmore nodded in acceptance, gave her a wink and departed down the hallway, she sighed  
with happiness and re-entered the office  
  
LUNCH TIME  
M STREET, WASHINGTON  
  
Doggett and Scully marched down the high street. It was Doggett's turn to purchase their  
lunch   
"What about Nando's chicken?" Doggett suggested licking his lips  
"No" she groaned "Last time I had a Chicken Supreme Salsa wrap and I was ill"  
"Mcdonald's?"  
"No, I hear that have rats in their storage cuboard" she said horrified. Doggett was cacking  
for his lunch, they had been walking around for fifteen minutes looking for a place to eat.  
Everything he suggested, she turned down. He felt at that precise moment like running  
off and purchasing a gigantic burger   
"You choose" he snapped, he slumped down on a bench and folded his arms like a spoilt little  
kid  
"Dandelion's sandwich bar?" she queried, Doggett stood up to dash down the road. He began  
walking but stopped when he felt a tug on his arm "Doggett" she said  
"What?" he asked in bewilderment  
"You er sat on that bench and there is a sign saying Wet Paint" she grimaced, Doggett felt  
horrified when he realised he must have a line of black paint upon his arse "You have er  
paint on your buttocks"   
"Oh no!" he groaned "Now what?"  
"Go home and change" she said stating the obvious.   
Not realising, Doggett had placed his mobile phone into his shirt pocket without putting the  
keylock on. Due to his cacky moment, he swung his arms in the air in anger, some buttons  
accidently got pushed. The phone dialed Skinner's office, Skinner picked up the phone to hear  
a strange muffling sound followed by Doggett's big mouth  
"I have had the worst day" he bitched as they walked back to the headquarters "First Skinner  
decides to treat me like shit" he said, Scully's hand expanded and pelted Doggett's face,  
he felt the after math of her wallop and rubbed his sore face "Well you have to admit he  
is always picking on me"  
"No he isn't" she said "You just get on his bad side"  
"He doesn't have a good side. He is an old fool" Doggett snapped.  
Skinner grew angry, should he wait in the parking lot for the skinny agent to come back  
or should he wait unil he was inside so he could give him a hiding? Fury filled his head  
as he heard Doggett bitching further  
  
"It's like yesterday. I was just minding my own business, reading the stocks page in the  
newspaper and that idiot peeps around the door and tells me to get back to work" Doggett moaned  
"Well you were supposed to be working" she reminded "You seem to do that a lot"  
"Your on his side?" he asked, quite upset  
"On this occassion, yes"  
"Oh then there is no point in his conversation" Doggett snapped walking ahead.   
Skinner wanted the conversation to go on further, he desperatley wanted Doggett to say more,   
at that moment Willmore walked in with a file in his hand and a coffee in the other.   
"Come on in" Skinner said still listening to his phone call, he had now placed it on speaker  
phone "That my coffee?"  
"Sure is" Willmore said sucking up "I will get your doughnut", Doggett's voice began to speak  
"Let go" he ordered, Skinner guessed Scully was forcing him to stop  
"Doggett" Scully said, Doggett stopped and waited for her to speak "You are being unreasonable.  
It's just a small accident with paint" she reminded "You shouldn't have laughed at Skinner. You  
are lucky Willmore stuck up for you" she said with a joyus smile when she mentioned his name.  
Back in Skinner's office, Willmore heard his name, he dashed over to listen  
"What's this, a bug in their office?" Willmore asked  
"No stupid Agent Doggett must have left his phone without the keys locked, judging by  
the argument they're having I think Agent Doggett caused an accident with some paint, Agent  
Doggett is also bitching about me" Skinner said with a matter-of-fact tone  
"Oh" Willmore said listening,  
"Well I thought Willmore would be in your good books too" Doggett said with a bitchy manner,  
Scully grew angry  
"What are you trying to say?" she asked  
"I'm trying to say you fancy good two shoes Willmore"  
Willmore was angry, Doggett was bitching about him too  
"Shut up" Scully screeched "I don't"  
"Oh pull the other one Scully" Doggett said with sarcasm "You couldn't make it more obvious,  
constantly flirting, always talking about him too" he added with pleasure  
"So what if I did? It's none of your business, not that I do" she defended  
"Oh please, at least be honest"   
"I am" she argued "Well look at you. Always in trouble with Skinner, always up to no good. When  
Skinner finds you doing something wrong you always blame him"  
"That's it Agent Scully you put the idiot straight" Skinner said shaking his head in anger  
"Go on Scully you go girl" Willmore said, the door opened to reveal Reyes  
"Agent Reyes?" Skinner said  
"Sorry to interrupt" Reyes said, she was shocked when she saw the two men head to head "I just  
wanted to tell you that er.." before she finished she was certain she could hear Doggett's voice  
from somewhere  
"You're a liar" it yelled "You are just a goody two shoes as well" he snapped  
"Well Doggett at least I am not always in Skinner's office being lecturer" Scully's voice  
said  
"You wanted something?" Skinner asked  
"Erm Cheif Section Mcgrath asked me to give you this" she said perplexed, she couldn't  
help but listen more when she heard Scully mention her name  
"You are always bitching about Reyes" Scully pointed out "Always saying she smokes too much,  
she drinks too much. I don't think you're fit to talk about anybody the way you stuff your  
face" Scully yelled  
"Go on Dana you give him it" Reyes said joining Skinner and Willmore in a kneeling position  
on the floor "Where are they?" Reyes asked "Why are you listening to them and how for that  
matter?"  
"It's a long story" Willmore said "So far Doggett had an accident with paint"  
"Paint?" Reyes asked  
"Yes we don't know the full story yet" Willmore said  
"I don't" Doggett defended "You are always talking about Chow"  
"So are you" she said with anger "You are always bitching about somebody. You are a gossip"  
"No" Doggett said "I just know all the goings on, I am alert"  
"You are about as alert as a dead mouse" she said with a screech, Willmore, Skinner and Reyes  
guessed Scully was at her violent stage of anger, they could hear by the tone of her voice.  
They heard a strange muffling sound, a thud and a scream. Had Doggett hit Scully? Had something  
terrible happened? They all exchanged concerned looks but were relieved when Scully spoke  
"I couldn't help it" she said with upset  
"You pushed me over" he yelled  
Skinner and the two agents laughed  
"Well you deserved it" Scully said with a smirk as she caught sight of the paint stain on his  
butt "I don't wish to continue talking to you any longer" she said pushing past him  
  
THE X-FILES OFFICE  
  
Doggett chased Scully into the office trying to stop her by tugging her bag  
"LET GO" she screeched, he did so and stopped  
"Sorry" he said  
"Shut up" she bitched "I dont want you--" before she finished she looked over at her desk. Skinner  
was sitting on her chair, Reyes was perched upon the desk edge and Willmore was looking at  
some photo's stuck on a notice board "Er?" she questioned  
"Agent Doggett" Skinner said standing up. Doggett was surprised, what was going on? "An old  
fool am I? An idiot?" he asked with a red face. Doggett looked at Scully, had she secretly  
told Skinner what he had said. How could she? There wasn't enough time "It wasn't Agent  
Scully"  
"Erm" Doggett was stunned  
"Try your stupidness Agent Doggett" Skinner snapped pulling him by his tie. Doggett strugggled  
to breath "Your phone" Skinner said removing it from Doggett's pocket. Doggett looked at  
his phone and pulled an annoying, confused expression "You dialed my office boy"  
"Arsehole" Reyes said "You talk about me?"  
"I er no" he screamed, he was terrified.  
"I wouldn't mind if you had reason to communicate about us in such an unreasonable way  
Doggett" Willmore said walking over "You portrayed us as people we're not. That's slander"  
"Are you going to sue me?" Doggett asked in a cack  
"The thought crossed my mind Agent Doggett" Skinner said with a grim smile "Nonetheless you're  
lucky I am such a kind person"  
"Thanks" Doggett said "I am sorry to all of you"  
"I know I smoke alot you shit why don't you just be honest with me?" Reyes asked with her  
foul mouth   
"I couldn't I am not as blunt" Doggett explained  
"Agent Doggett that meeting is still on for 5pm" Skinner reminded "I think you need to think  
up a way to say sorry"  
"Huh?" Doggett asked in confusion  
"Don't think your apology will take form in the place of words boy I want you to make it up to  
all of us. I don't think Agent Scully will be helping you so you're all alone" Skinner bitched  
as he headed for the door.  
"Oops" Scully said with a giggle "Looks like your going to have to spend the entire lunch break  
devising a plan"  
"Yeh Doggett and it better be good" Reyes snapped leaving the room with a bitchy expression  
"I think you've been punished enough by me" Willmore said placing a firm grip on his shoulder "I  
would rather be called a goody two shoes rather than an old idiot" he laughed, Scully found  
it entirely amusing. She began to giggle "Look why don't you just buy them doughnuts or  
maybe coffee or both?" Willmore suggested, it was then at that precise moment Doggett remembered  
he hadn't had lunch. In a cack he jumped up  
"Thanks" he said dashing off in the direction of the canteen  
  
THE END 


End file.
